June 5, 2008

Hermana Jensen's First Letter From California

I have entitled this email "Will He really answer me?" From that song - mom has the cd. I have done this because I know the answer. Yes. He really will answer me and He does every time I plead for help. I hope you too, know that He really will answer your prayers.
Today as we were driving to the library to write our emails, we listened to Saturday's Warrior and it reminded me of singing with mom as she played the piano. Those experiences taught me about the beauties of working to magnify your talents, the joys of singing praises to the Lord, and the unexplainable importance of families. I miss you so much. I'm not really homesick in that way, but I miss you a lot. It's hard for me to think that you are all going on and living your lives without me there to celebrate with you and cry with you. At times I wish that you could all be here to cry with me and celebrate with me too. But I know that it is this way for a reason. If I could, I would rely too much on you and instead I rely on the Lord and my companions.
My companions: Elder Alvarez and I were picked up by the 2 office elders. They took us to Carl's Junior and then to the mission home where I met the President and his wife. They couldn't get a hold of my companions though, so I went with another sister and she gave me a tour of the LA temple and then they said I could rest. They put me in the transfer room and I took a NAP! It was beautiful. I felt so loved by the Lord because He knew that I was literally exhausted and He let me ease into this life with a nap on a delicious bed. When I woke up I wrote in my journal and then we had grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner and then I went to bed. The President's wife was my companion the first night and stayed with me. The next morning I got up, studied, and waited for my companions to come and get me. When they knocked on the door, I saw a FRIEND! Hna. Wilcox and I were in the same FHE group my Jr. year at BYU and when I saw her, I couldn't believe it. The Lord loves me so much that He gave me a companion that I already know and love and feel comfortable with and trust. My real trainer is Hna. Escoto - from Honduras and she's great.
They took me to our apartment on "Melrose" - believe it or not. I unpacked, the Elders brought me a bike and a mattress and we ate lunch. We went out to work right after that. We tracted and I took the third door. It is what it is - tracting. Not the funnest ever, but I don't hate it.
Speaking of tracting - we had a goal to get 10 hours this week - which ends on Sunday night and when we left for church Sunday morning we had 4. I had zero hope that we would reach this goal and frankly gave it no energy whatsoever. I was not going to let myself feel bad because I can't control anything here. Well, the other Hnas. really wanted to reach it and somehow it happened. We found someone to split with us and between two companionships tracted 6.5 hours. It was truly a miracle.
Dinners with members are fun but awfully stressful. The rule is we can only be there for an hour total and we have to share a lesson in that time. That never happens. We always stay too long and our lesson is always ridiculously lame. We had spaghetti at all 3 appointments this week!
I'm in the Hollywood area - which means the Hollywood sign is in my mission.
News: our landlady has a rooster. Did you know roosters don't just crow once, they crow ALL MORNING! My first morning he started at 5:55 (we get to sleep in until 6:30 by the way) and crowed 78 times in 12 minutes. There are cockroaches here too. I don't like them at all, in fact they make me feel so squirmy and sick. They're almost as long as my pinky. I always ask the hermanas "How do you know that they don't walk on you in the middle of the night?" and they just say "I have faith, Hermana Jensen."
Part of my patriarchal blessing has already been fulfilled. The part that says "As the Savior walked and talked with all kinds of people, so will you." We taught a recovering homosexual man with AIDS the other day and as we walked back to our car, we stopped to talk to a homeless guy. We talk to everybody, Koreans in Korea town, black people, white people, latino people. And so yeah, there you have it. All kinds of people.
Tracting is tough because you never know what language you are going to speak when they answer the door. And even if they are latino, sometimes they'd rather you speak to them in English. It's a fine line to walk and it makes me very uneasy. People get offended and anways, it's hard to master Spanish because we use both every day.
I met and taught a woman named Ruby on the plane ride over here. I found out later that I wasn't supposed to accept it, but she made me take $20 to help pay for my mission. She was very sweet. I taught her just about the church in general and how we have a prophet. I found her again near baggage claim, grabbed a pass along card from one of the office elders, and went over to give it to her. I hope she calls and lets the missionaries come teach her. She was very sweet and a great first person to talk to - she spoke English!
The weather here is beautiful, but it's funny because since I was just here like 9 months ago for the BYU vs. UCLA football game - like in this very area - I feel like I'm back here on a road trip for a football game. Which, in case you were wondering is NOT the case :) So it's funny.
I've seen gas as high as $4.49 for regular and $5.49 for diesel - I think. Crazy, huh? Brother Dallon my MTC teacher told us one time that it was $4 in Provo. Is that true? Also I heard that this summer they are going to sell gas tax-free? Is there any truth to that?
Daddy, the bane (I don't know how to spell that) of my existence is parking. I never planned to deal with that as a missionary. Everywhere we go we are late because we're always running behind anyways and then we drive around for ten minutes to finally park 4 blocks away from our appointment. Not only that, but everywhere you go it's bumper to bumper and I literally would have an anxiety attack if I was the one behind the wheel. Thankfully I'm not, nor will I ever be.
Here's the most important thing I learned this week: so maybe I'm slow for not already knowing this, but the Atonement covers all. I always knew it covered sin, pain, infirmities, sorrow, stuff like that, but now I understand that it also covers temptation, frustration, fear, anxiety, weakness, and every bad day I've ever had or ever will have. I learned this because I constantly feel unequal to the task before me. I wasn't complaining, but I was asking Sister Wilcox how I can cope and just deal with this. She taught me that everytime I feel like I can't do this, it's OK because that's where the Savior comes in and says, "You give me all you have (even if it's only 12% right now) and I'll take care of the rest." When we knock on doors and I feel like I just can't start talking, I open my mouth and just wait for Him to start speaking for me. And He does. Every time something goes wrong (like when we were showing the Restoration DVD at a teaching appointment this week and it froze right before the first vision...) I just wanted to throw my hands in the air and quit. Satan does everything he can to stop us from progressing. I think the lack of parking is Satan's fault. Everytime I feel frustrated, I remember that Christ understands what I'm going through because He already suffered it. He comes in and He makes my small offering enough. He takes my 12% and it becomes 100%. I wish I could say that knowing and understanding this makes everything all better instantly and that I never get frustrated or sad, but I cannot make that report. I know that you can never stop. If we stop, we fall and we sink. It's like Peter walking on water towards Christ. He fell the second he stopped. So I know never to stop, I'd never just go home early one day and lounge on the couch. I won't ever stop or ever quit. But in the hardest moments, when it's not fun and it's not easy, I just keep going. Other moments though, they are amazing. I have seen miracles. I prayed to find the remote so we could change the language to spanish on the restoration movie I mentioned earlier and before I said amen in my mind I looked up and found the remote.
The miracles are many, the blessings are abundant, the love of the Lord never ceases. His protection is always with us-- but it's still not easy.
We get to go to the LA temple next Wed. - the 11th - which means our p-day won't be Monday next week, it'll be Wednesday, so expect my email then.
I don't know if you've written me, we won't get mail until this Friday. That's how it goes, once a week, from the mission home on Friday. I have to go, but I'll write next Wednesday and will be thinking about you in the interim!
I'm sending pictures too. Look for them!
Love,Hermana Jensen la verdecita!

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