What A Week - At Least It´s Over!

February 24, 2009

I too nearly cry when I think about that stellar package that has not yet gotten to me. I will start praying for it to turn up. We get mail tomorrow in Zone Conference… who knows… maybe it is already in the offices waiting for me. When I read about the wonderful things you had put in there and the surprises and jewelry… I almost did cry. I am so sad that things like that have to happen to us missionaries, or anyone. Yesterday my Zone Leader got robbed and lost his mission scriptures that he had been using for 21 months – imagine what a drag that would be. I pray it doesn´t happen to me!

About the dog trainer (high pitched sound device)… we are pretty sure they don´t exist here. But don´t fret too much about it, unless you can find one for about $20, it´s probably not worth the trouble… I´ll just send one off with my son one day to his mission and wait for his stories and live vicariously through him.

The "wordles" creations are super awesome! I´m going to want to get into that when I get back. I didn´t have time to read every word on every one of them, but I can only imagine how cool they are. I´m going to do a bunch of mission ones with words in Castellano! Cool hobby – keep it up!

I´m back to relying on melatonin to sleep – it´s been a tough transfer and we have only barely hit the half way mark of it. I´ll try to wean myself off again, but for now – it´s my salvation.

I loved the lists of 25 things – I´m working on mine, but have already surpassed 25 things. I´ve got like 32 and I can´t cut a single one. I´ll pass it on when I finish it!

I had a cool spiritual experience the other day and invented a parable that we later used to teach an investigator that is working on giving up smoking. I think it sunk in, but we´ll see. It has to do with 2 cups, one with the opening up and the other with it down. We talk about which cup is ready to receive and then we compare the cups to us and decide whether we are ready to receive what the Lord wants to give us or not. It´s pretty cool – and you can use D&C 42:8 with it. It makes me feel really cool to know that the Spirit can inspire even little old me with things like that – it would make a great Conference talk!

Mommy – did you ever find out what church songs have already been translated? Just curious… there´s not much I could do because they aren´t approved anyways, but in the last transfer meeting before I come home, me and Sister Pruner want to sing one and I´m curious if it has been translated. We want to sing “Still Believe” or “All my days.” Please let me know. Thanks a bunch!

One of the sad moments of the week was realizing that the ranch dressing packets you sent me are impossible to make because … brace yourself… sour cream doesn´t exist here! I know. It´s like a major crime. It broke my heart too. Is there any other substitute that I could mix the powder in to make ranch?

I have just about run out of the peanut butter you sent in my Christmas package. I didn´t open it until Christmas and have been rationing it like you wouldn´t believe. It´s just about gone and I don´t want it to be gone.

Last week I fell in the street because I stupidly took a step in a puddle in the gutter and my foot slipped out from under me because the puddles are lined with moss and algae. Imagine the fall and the yucky dirty feeling one would have afterward. Gross!

I had another injury this week that was actually worse. I stepped on one of those plastic drain cover things in the sidewalk and it flipped up and hit me in the shin cutting me pretty bad in the shape of a “V” about the size of half a finger in each part of the “V.” It swelled up and was bleeding and we went to a pharmacy and I broke down and cried because I couldn´t convey that I wanted hydrogen peroxide. It had already been a tough morning, I hadn´t slept well the night before, I was starving, it was 41 degrees Celsius (105 to us) that day and we hadn’t taught anybody all week long. Everything was coming crashing down and I just lost it. We bought some disinfectant and went to eat lunch in the apartment. I cleaned it up and bandaged it and after lunch spent a moment alone in the bedroom on my knees beginning a fast and pouring my broken heart out to my Father in Heaven. I told Him that I just didn´t have much more to give and I needed Him to take me in His hands and make it all better. After a while I felt better. He strengthened me. We kept working the rest of the week and it was the worst week I have ever had in Argentina – according to numbers and the quality of the work. We lost the family-- and the wife of the golden investigator threw us out once and for all forbidding us to return. The other family stood us up twice and I just couldn´t believe that it was really that necessary for us to suffer like this. We are trying so hard.

The only good part of the week was the fact that Faustino Arce got baptized! We were afraid he was going to no-show his own baptism because we hadn´t been able to get a hold of him all week long, but he not only showed up, but showed up 30 minutes earlier than we told him to come. His baptismal service was great. He was baptized! That was the tender mercy of the week, because I can promise you that if he had bailed I would have been calling the President and telling him to close this area because it´s just not ready for the gospel. I still kind of feel that way, but have chosen to keep it to myself. Well, and my companion!

Random story – you know how when you´re bored and walking in the street you pick a rock and take turns kicking it forward? We do that but with bones – like cow vertebrae. It's a lot more fun because the bones make a different sound and kick differently.

To finish off the week that just about killed me I had an ingrown toe nail! My companion actually knows how to remove them because she worked doing pedicures before the mission and she willingly performed the mini surgery on Sunday afternoon. Like the young boy Joseph Smith I did not drink anything to endure the pain, nor did she have to tie me down. And as Brian Regan proudly says (though referring to wisdom teeth tales) … “I was out proselyting that afternoon!” It hurts a little bit, but it´s all good and it will heal and be much better!

Daddy – last Sunday as we were leaving the chapel we stumbled upon the scene of the flat tire of the Relief Society President´s car-- and guess who changed it? Yep, yours truly! I did let some of the men help. haha! The First Counselor jacked the car up and removed the hubcap, but I took out all the bolts and put them back on. All the Priests and the Mission Leader and the Bishop and the Counselor in the Stake Presidency were looking on and taking pictures and truly impressed. It was super fun! I´ll send pictures when I can. But yeah… rest assured that I blew them all away!

Also – my companion looked at the picture of us in front of the font and she said that you look like Kevin Bacon. What do you think? I can see it a little bit!

Get this… remember how I used to have full-blown panic attacks when I saw an animal in pain? You would not believe how I have changed.

The other day I witnessed a truly gruesome natural attack and didn´t even react. All of the sudden 4 dogs started to attack and try to eat and kill this little cat. It wasn't a tiny kitten, but about half the size of an adult cat. I stood there mesmerized and in complete shock but gazed on as I heard the horrific cries of this cat as it was LITERALLY in the mouths of TWO dogs that were literally biting its abdomen! I didn´t even try to break it up because – what can I do? And what if they turn and attack me? But finally the guy we were teaching pulled them apart and left the cat for dead on the side walk – it was soaked with the slobber from the mouths of the dogs and completely drained of energy. It lied there panting and I´m pretty sure that it must have died that night. The attack was vicious.

The point of that story is that anyone can become desensitized… I no longer freak out when I see things like that. The point I´m driving at is that the little things get to us. The movies and TV shows we watch. The music we listen to… it gets to us and desensitizes us until we can stare wide-eyes at something truly disturbing and not feel bothered by it. I exhort one and all to evaluate themselves and ask if they are being desensitized. Satan wins little by little, not all at once. I hope you will take that story to heart and understand the deeper meaning. We need to be so careful!

Today was temple p day – which is why I´m writing so late in the day. Sorry to make you wait. Tomorrow is zone conference. I have to tell you that things are hitting me hard. It´s not even the numbers that bug me, because I pretty much gave up trying to play that game. It´s the fact that this transfer I have felt like I am not making a difference. We teach the first lesson so infrequently that we are forgetting how to do it. Those who we had that had potential – we have lost. Those who we have that are trapped my smoking or by not being married – don´t do their part. I feel like I have let the President down, the Lord down, myself down… I feel like this area is little by little extinguishing the flame that I had. I believed that I could find, teach, and baptize here – just like any in other area, but after 8 weeks… I can say that I try to believe, but it´s a tall order when day after day you realize that the people just don´t listen and just aren´t ready… it makes you just want to cry. I have begged the Lord to lead us to those He has prepared. I have begged Him to help me find them. He is trying my faith and patience and even more so that of my companion who is even more bewildered and discouraged than I am.

I tell you this, not to add to your stress or worry, but to basically let you know the situation. I feel like I have served 9 months and that I have only become 10% of what I want to become in the mission. I feel like I have fought so long and so hard, but that I am getting beaten. I am disappointed in myself for feeling discouraged. I am mad at myself for letting the rejection get to me. I am sad that I am sad. And I am terrified that the days are slipping by and I am not getting any better, wiser, or stronger. I´m sure I´m just being my severest critic, but that doesn´t mean that I don´t feel sincerely weak. I don´t doubt for a second that the Lord hears my prayers, I just want to know how much longer it will be until He says “Ok, on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage.¨ Mosiah 24 (I think… I don’t have my triplet on me)

Please don´t let that paragraph make you sad. In fact – rejoice that the Lord is trying me because it means that He trusts me enough to help me grow a little bit more. I will rejoice too. “Come what may and love it” is harder than it sounds. But I´m trying.

Nata – remember Bugles? I do. Remember “Hey dude” ? And Wishbone” and Jay Jay the jet plane? Give Davy McGravy a raspberry from his aunt Stacey!

Jason – I will apply your counsel should the moment come!

Daddy – I hope you won´t be mad at me for confessing a little bit of our trials. I don´t do it to worry mommy. I promise.

Mommy – I thank you for having the courage and the desire to send me things. I´m sorry that you have to suffer for the sins of others. I will try to send you pictures soon, but I too have a fear of sending my picture CDs and losing them forever. And it´s a bit of a hassle to make 2 copies of everything just in case, but it would be the wise thing to do. But, know that I love you and am praying for Bishop Peterson – I put his name on the temple roll today in Buenos Aires!

I miss you, but promise that I have a long way to go – meaning I have a lot of growing and improving to do before I come home.

Rejoice with me… because Jesus is the Christ.

Of this I am sure.

Hermana Jensen!